I have no idea why

(Originally posted on Sunday, 26 April 2020)

I have no idea why, but I feel an unstoppable urge to write a post about the music video below. Maybe somebody who wants to commit suicide will read it and change his (or her) mind. Hopefully. Ironic thing is that the lead singer of the band 13 years later did commit suicide, but the song actually helped many other people. Here are some of the comments to the video:

“This song has helped me get through so many depressing moments in my life”
“This song help me so much threw my addiction.. thank you Chester. May u be in heaven fr what u gave to the world..”
“Chester, if only God gave me a chance first. I promise and bet anything for you, I will help you in any way to fix your pain. Im sorry i couldnt help you the way you help me”
“I have always liked this song but never really pay heed to the meaning when I was a kid. But this song helped me got out from my depression. 5 years ago I lost my mother after her year long battle with cancer. My dad left us and she had to fight cancer. When she died, I was in deep depression. I tried so many drugs to drown my sorrows.
When drugs don’t help me feel numb, I contemplated suicide. But one night I was listening to Linkin Park, this song came up and I cried so hard. Thinking that my mother fought hard to be a single mother, fought with her cancer and looking at me trying to kill myself. It will be a massive waste on all her sacrifices.
Now I am married and I have a daughter, whom I named after my mother. Chester, whenever you are. You saved my life. If I had taken away my life, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to marry my beautiful wife and have my little princess.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”





A suicide is never a good answer to anything, because it's like running away from something. Often it's all about fear, but the truth is that you can't run away from your own fear or anxiety. It reminds me of a scene from the novel Hero in the Shadows by David Gemmell:
    “If you were faced with a snarling dog, what would you do?”
    “Stand very still,” said Niall.
    “And if it attacked?”
    “If I were armed, I would try to kill it. If not, I would shout loudly and kick at it.”
    “What would happen were you to run from it?”
    “It would chase and bite me. That is the way with dogs.”
    “That is also the way with fear,” said the Gray Man. “You can't run from it. It will follow, snapping at your heels. Most fears recede if you face them down.”

In some cases fear is connected with some very hard circumstances and a person feels a kind of unbearable burden. Well, in such cases it helps to be a Christian – you should take your own cross and carry it till the end of your days. Just accept all the hardships and keep on keeping on with your life. Actually it's quite fulfilling when you are able to raise your head up against all odds, still trying to be a good person. It also inspires other people to face even the hardest circumstances without paralysing fear.